McCain-Palin Campaign On Hurricane Gustav Aftermath

ST. PAUL (BS) -- In a Saturday preview of their campaign, Sen. John McCain and his running mate Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin tried to head-off the Democratic presidential ticket with vows to help anyone struck by incoming Hurricane Gustav.

"Our opponents will promise to shovel millions of federal dollars to you, the future victims of Hurricane Gustav," McCain said.

"But I will come down there and shovel debris from your yard," he said.

"And look at Gov. Palin over there. Now there's a woman who can clean a house."

The Palin-cleaning-house comment caused an immediate surge in approval ratings among evangelicals.

-Colin Foote Burch, who fabricated everything above