wishwasher n. -- usually a spouse, sometimes a sibling or purposes family member, who sanitizes your wishes or desires with his or her own purposes. Your plans get cleaned up for his or her presentation. For example, he says, "I think I'll go to the movies tonight." Then she says, "What a great idea! We could go to dinner first, and invite my parents!" For another example, "His wishwasher was loaded with the death of her dreams." And yet another example: "Dude, our plan to follow Rush across the Midwest this summer just went through Cindy's wishwasher. Now both of our families are coming along with us, and we're only seeing Rush in St. Louis and Chicago while our wives take the kids to the zoo and the monuments and the giant shopping malls and basically make this trip cost ten times what it was supposed to."
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
Red Pill or Blue Pill or new berry-flavored Purple Pill with a patented blend of truth and denial?— Colin Foote Burch (@cfburch4) July 27, 2014
David Gregory's interview with Iranian foreign minister reveals the "International Community" is merely a group of Special Nations. #mtp— Colin Foote Burch (@cfburch4) July 13, 2014
I tell ya, caring about words and their meanings is a fast track to being politically incorrrect. Damn it.— Colin Foote Burch (@cfburch4) June 30, 2014
Kochs & Waltons now so heinous, journalists granted permission to use ad hominem constructions against super rich. Envy v. Greed, again.— Colin Foote Burch (@cfburch4) June 30, 2014
Sometimes people cry "cuts" in funding when a planned increase in funding is stopped and often "preventing" actually means "not paying for."— Colin Foote Burch (@cfburch4) July 1, 2014
Having dizzy spells: On #CNN, Washington Post's Dan Balz said something I agree with. I might need to go to the ER.— Colin Foote Burch (@cfburch4) April 15, 2012
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
BREAKING: Hobby Lobby won't pay for 2 other Women's Health necessities: food & water. Death looms for female workers at Companies Of Faith.— Colin Foote Burch (@cfburch4) July 13, 2014
Drug cartels helped create our immigration crisis. What helps cartels? Our drug laws & underground market. I won't use but I would legalize.— Colin Foote Burch (@cfburch4) July 7, 2014
"Reactionary Freudianism" insists utterance A always indicates disposition B. But even Freud wasn't that Freudian. "Sometimes a cigar is..."— Colin Foote Burch (@cfburch4) July 1, 2014
BTW, last night, @NBCNews suggested Amazon treats employees worse than Wal Mart. Now that scews up the suburban liberal narrative!— Colin Foote Burch (@cfburch4) June 30, 2014
Delete the word "potential" from all future episodes of #RisingStar. Thank you.— Colin Foote Burch (@cfburch4) June 23, 2014
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
lawngoer: a pet, esp. a dog, who prefers squatting on the neighbors' lawns rather than on the grass between the sidewalk and the curb, or on other essentially public green spaces. E.g., "Son, if you hadn't let your dog become such a lawngoer, his hide wouldn't be full of buckshot."
5 Books to Read Before College
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
enail: (1) An email message of an especially sharp and direct nature, usually critiquing or denouncing the recipient or recipient's behavior. For example, "When Georgia-Anne saw me eating lunch with Samantha, she sent me the mother of all enails." (2) Any electronic message that stabs, gouges, slashes or scratches. For example, "That wasn't a bad text message, dude. That was a freakin' enail."
5 Books to Read Before College
Sunday, March 23, 2014
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
Friday, December 6, 2013
Monday, November 25, 2013
Saturday, November 16, 2013
This poem first was published online in the Winter 2012 edition of New Mirage Journal, but unfortunately for me, the site appears to have gone away. So, I'll post it here, with one edit: "glittering" originally was "glittered."
Regarding Joy and Grace
By Colin Foote Burch
Spinning, apropos or no,
Grooving on glittering club floors
Or shimmying on scorched highway medians:
You will be like the sunflower
Willfully set in the crack
Of the dirty city sidewalk,
Grateful the dark lattice dome crumbled
And now we have sky --
Blue, unbounded sky.