Tuesday, July 29, 2014

New Suburban Glossary: wishwasher

wishwasher n. -- usually a spouse, sometimes a sibling or purposes family member, who sanitizes your wishes or desires with his or her own purposes. Your plans get cleaned up for his or her presentation. For example, he says, "I think I'll go to the movies tonight." Then she says, "What a great idea! We could go to dinner first, and invite my parents!" For another example, "His wishwasher was loaded with the death of her dreams." And yet another example: "Dude, our plan to follow Rush across the Midwest this summer just went through Cindy's wishwasher. Now both of our families are coming along with us, and we're only seeing Rush in St. Louis and Chicago while our wives take the kids to the zoo and the monuments and the giant shopping malls and basically make this trip cost ten times what it was supposed to."

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Greatish Hits, Part Two

Icicles on a Myrtle Beach sunbathing sign. #WMBFice #MYR on Twitpic

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Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Greatish Hits

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Wednesday, May 14, 2014

New Suburban Glossary: Lawngoer

lawngoer: a pet, esp. a dog, who prefers squatting on the neighbors' lawns rather than on the grass between the sidewalk and the curb, or on other essentially public green spaces. E.g., "Son, if you hadn't let your dog become such a lawngoer, his hide wouldn't be full of buckshot."

5 Books to Read Before College

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Wednesday, May 7, 2014

The New Suburban Glossary: Enail

enail: (1) An email message of an especially sharp and direct nature, usually critiquing or denouncing the recipient or recipient's behavior. For example, "When Georgia-Anne saw me eating lunch with Samantha, she sent me the mother of all enails." (2) Any electronic message that stabs, gouges, slashes or scratches. For example, "That wasn't a bad text message, dude. That was a freakin' enail."

5 Books to Read Before College

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Sunday, March 23, 2014

My brush with near fame

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Tuesday, January 21, 2014

As you can see, I'm in 5th place

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Friday, December 6, 2013

Harvey Silverglate of FIRE explains the 'corrosive' attitudes against free speech at Harvard and other colleges

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Monday, November 25, 2013

Yes! Explained in 43 seconds! 'Politics makes us worse. Find out why.'


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Saturday, November 16, 2013


This poem first was published online in the Winter 2012 edition of New Mirage Journal, but unfortunately for me, the site appears to have gone away. So, I'll post it here, with one edit: "glittering" originally was "glittered."


Regarding Joy and Grace

By Colin Foote Burch

Spinning, apropos or no,
Grooving on glittering club floors
Or shimmying on scorched highway medians:

You will be like the sunflower
Willfully set in the crack
Of the dirty city sidewalk,

Grateful the dark lattice dome crumbled
And now we have sky --
Blue, unbounded sky.

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