McCain-Palin Campaign On Hurricane Gustav Aftermath

ST. PAUL (BS) -- In a Saturday preview of their campaign, Sen. John McCain and his running mate Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin tried to head-off the Democratic presidential ticket with vows to help anyone struck by incoming Hurricane Gustav.

"Our opponents will promise to shovel millions of federal dollars to you, the future victims of Hurricane Gustav," McCain said.

"But I will come down there and shovel debris from your yard," he said.

"And look at Gov. Palin over there. Now there's a woman who can clean a house."

The Palin-cleaning-house comment caused an immediate surge in approval ratings among evangelicals.

-Colin Foote Burch, who fabricated everything above

Mitt Romney, the Republicans, and the number of wives they have (had)

Last week's edition of The Economist had a chart that compared the number of times leading and likely Republican presidential candidates have been married, including the Mormon candidate Mitt Romney.

The tongue-in-cheek chart, titled "Who's the true monogamist?", played the (sort-of) bygone practice of polygamy in Romney's Mormonism against the family-values record of other high-profile Republicans.

The chart went something like this:

Newt Gingrich: Three wives so far

Rudy Giuliani: Three wives so far

John McCain: Two wives so far

Fred Thompson: Two wives so far

Mitt Romney: one wife so far