CNN: Fred Thompson rolls across 'the conservative Iowa countryside'

What makes a countryside conservative?

Apparently CNN's John King knows, although he didn't tell us.

On tonight's Situation Room with Wolf Blitzer, King had a RARE ON-THE-BUS INTERVIEW (according to the bottom of the screen) with Fred Thompson, the former Law & Order star and former U.S. senator who recently announced he is running for president.

"Wolf, national security dominated our discussion as the bus rolled across the conservative Iowa countryside," King said.

After much sweat and tears within our research department, we discovered that the Iowa countryside has not voted in a single election since white people started taking over the fruited plain. Earlier data is not available.

Attempts to contact the Iowa countryside via telephone were not immediately successful.

-Colin Burch