Fortunately, when I have bad beer in the future, I’ll have a use for it. My Dad emailed me a link for an online list of household uses for beer, like drinking enough of it to drown out the to-do list of my wife and the whining of my three daughters. Just kidding. One of the household uses was a fruit fly trap, which already proved useful when my juicing efforts attracted dozens of the little pests. Here’s how the trap works: Take a small glass jar, fill it about half-way with beer, and cover the lid with plastic wrap. Poke a small hole in the middle of the plastic wrap. Set it out in an area where fruit flies congregate. The flies, like some freshmen I know, aren’t as smart as they are annoying. They find their way into the jar, but they don’t find their way back out. One morning, I found a dozen of the little buggers floating in the eternal sleep of beer. I’ll call that a happy ending.