Monday, July 19, 2010

The original version of 'Dry Web'

I'm still in London; more posts to come. 


Meanwhile, some of my most recent column was trimmed so a late news item could be squeezed into the Weekly Surge.

Specifically, the part of my column entitled "Dry Web" was trimmed, but the original was better, so here it is:


I was staying at a Baptist conference center the night before my PBR article was due.

I’m always racking up the frequent-guest points at Baptist conference centers, and cashing them in for sweet tea and potato salad.

I was there because my wife had gone the center’s accompanying girls’ camp during her growing-up years, and now my daughters are carrying on the tradition.

Don’t get me wrong – it’s a great camp, and the conference center’s room were cleaner than most hotel rooms. I guess working for cranky tourists is a little less motivating than working for the Almighty.

Anyway, I had to do a little PBR-related research to do, so I went online. The Google search returned the results, and I clicked.

Suddenly, a note popped up on the screen: the site was banned, for it fell within the “Alcohol/Tobacco Category.”

I knew I couldn’t bring any alcohol or tobacco – I was really proud of myself for not smuggling any in – but I couldn’t even read about it?

Wouldn’t it count as opposition research?

That’s why I’m an Episcopalian. Our little-known motto is, “The Protestants Who Drink.” Our Jesus turned water into wine, not Welch’s Grape Juice.

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